Alizée is almost here!

As amazing and weird as it may sound the french singer Alizée is having a lot of success here in Mexico so after canceling an autograph signing at the last minute some months ago she will return this week to perorm 5 shows in Mexico (2 of them in Mexico city) and I will attend one of them next Wednesday.

Even thought I'm not a HUUUGE fan I do like her as well as her music because her lyrics are always weird and sometimes talk about nonexistent situations and I think that's really valuable 'cos it's original, however most French people find her silly and dumb. As far as I know she will only have 1 gig in France, 1 in Russia and 5 in Mexico! that's quite strange especiall 'cos it's nto as if her fans knew how to speak French :S I browsed her official forum some weeks ago and only 3 members could speak French so they were teaching the rest of the members short phrases i case they meet Ali (like they call her).

I'm pretty excited about it so I hope it's a good show and if I'm able to I'm gonna take some pics for you to get an idea of it!

I'm feeling dog-tired

After a kinda hectic weekend... it all started on saturday night when we were supposed to pick up my brother at 11:30 pm at the airport... eventually the arrival of his flight changed to 12:30 am so when we arrived at the airport we started to try to spot him but we couldn't! so my parents asked 2 policemen hat wear near if they knew anything about my brother's flight so they said it arrived at 12:00 am and that most of the people that were in that fligt went to another gate. So we went to another gate and tried to find him but again we couldn't but this time my mum found his flight on the arrivals screens so we realised he wouldn't arrive until 2:30 am ..... (the policemen lied :S).

After we resigned to the fact that we would have to wait until 3:45 am for my brother to arrive (the flight was delayed again) we went to a restaurant and had something to eat and drink, after waiting a long time my sister and I feel asleep haha in the middle of the restaurant :P but anyway my brother arrived at 3:50 am so we got home at 5:00 am but I went to bed at 6:00 am 'cos I had to was my face and my teeth (it takes me a lot of time, believe me).

Next day I woke up at 11:00 am 'cos it was father's day so we were going to have a family gathering to celebrate it, throughout the day I tried to get some sleep by escaping to my bedroom but my parents would alwas wake me up 'cos it was lunchtime or 'cos someone was about to leave and I had to say goodbye...

After a loooong time

I'm back again, I know I stopped posting some months ago but it's just that I really didn't feel like blogging mainly because school was keeping me very busy with all my subjects and also because I kinda had an active social life.



I think I should start by saying I'm very happy with my friends t university because even though they're not gay I've been feeling a bit more comoftable with them as tie passes by and that's just great. Some months ago I even slept at the house of one of them after this nice party we had, and for me that's kinda good 'cos I hadn't stayed at a friend's house for 2 or 3 years now.
Some of my new friends and me!


In terms of my sexuality I've been having quite alot of changed when it comes to my mood about it because I'm starting to appreciate Gil, my gay friend, more and more. He said we could have soemthing in the future and that made me feel happy however nothing has happened until now but I'm not mad nor sad.. I will just let things flow. On the "kinky" side, loads of things have happened aswell 'cos about 2 weeks ago I went out with Gil and the rest of the "gay gang" lol and well despte having a geat day with Gil and watching sme movies with him I got sucked for the first time (!!) lol it was something nice and kinda spontaneous and it happened with a guy I met that day (friend of Gil). The weirdest part of it is that it all happened in the terrace of a gay club haha however I didn't do anything inappropriate and no-one noticed it!

Last but not least I'm also really happy with myself because I came out to one of my closest friend. He studies architecture as well and we're together almost all the time, it was a great thing because wlel we've known eachthe sice we were in primary school (he's from my hometown as well) and well he told me he's ok with it, 'cos he's bi so it's nice because from now on I'll be able to be my lef with him and it just feel amazing!


(Poncho and me, he's the friend I came out to)

In terms of school I'm currently free because my summer holidays started almost 2 weeks ago, I have 2 months off and it feels great. I've been relaxing during this time however I do get bored from time to time so that's why I applied for 2 jobs, at a coffee shop and at a magazines shop, I don't relly know it they will call me back but I really hope so because I wanna do smething productive and I'm really xcited about what would be my first job :D

Changing the routine

Every thursday me and 2 of my mates suffer, literally, 'cos of this 3 hours class we have. The thing is that even though it's not the most difficult class in the world te teacher, who's got a really nrrow-minded mentality in all aspects, seems to love to see us suffering :P especially when she checks our projects bt anyway yestrday after I was done with her homework I was feeling a bit unsure about it 'cos I didn't know if it was ok so I was affraid of failing but as I was taking a shower I realised I shouldn't feel scared 'cos I knew I had done my best even though it took me more hours to finish than it took to my mates, so toda when the Architect checked my mates' projects she made them change their whole projects and when m turn came she didn't correct anything about mine.

I must admit it felt very good, of couse not 'cos I did well and my mates didn't, I just thught about me and I was feeling happy 'cos norally I tend to be the one that takes more time in doing things whithout gtting better results and this time it wasn't like that so I felt very happy.

After our class one of my friends asked me to go to the movies, he's the one I've known for all my life, so I said yes even though I wasn't THAT excited abut going but I ust thought it'd be nice 'cos we really didn't have to work on our home work and I was feeling happy. We saw "Jumper" and to be honest I expected it to be a crappy movie but to my surprise I really enjoyed even though I'm not into that kinda movies, it's an interesting story and the special effects are good lol I liked it so much that when we went out of the cinema I told him "I'd so love to be like him" haha I know it's a bit odd but I really felt like that and it's the first time tat it happens to me with a movie so I was really happy. When we were on our way to my home we decided to buy some coffe and donuts 'cos we were feeling a bit hungry and well as we were eating our donuts we just started to talk about how nice it is to brear our routines, we also talked about living on our own and visitng our families every weekend and since he's going to NY in a few monts we also talked about the excitement of traveling alone well he's going with 2 friends but they're gonna travel on their own) so I also mentionedhow happy I was when I went to Chicago on my own... Im not gonna makethis post longer, I just wanna emphasize how great it was for me to live thisday like this because it made me realize how proud I m of myself and also howhappy I feel about my current situation even if it's not the best one or a correct one... I prefer to be valuable than pretending o hvea "happy/perfect" life like most people.

Heres a recent pic of me (taken last Thursday), my friend (Poncho) is the one that next to me.

Thank you brother

I never thought I'd actually post something like this about my brother 'cos as you all know we don't have loads of things in common however lately I have been discovering that he's changed a little bit, of course he's still shallow and less "rational" than me but I totally respect him, anyway I'm posting about him 'cos this weekend he has taught me not to take anger in a personal way.

It all happened yesterday when we were having lunch at my grandmother's house, I was feeling a bit moody 'cos I just couldn't feel comfortable in that family environment and well I always sit next to my grandmother (I'm her spoilt nephew :P) and she's always nice with me but again since I was feeling a bit uncomfortable I felt desperate and suddenly mhen I was eating my soup my brother took a pictre of me with his phone and everyone laughed so I just couldn't stand it and I told him in an angry way to quit bothering me (He had been taking pictures of me all day long). I just couldn't help reacting that way because of the thoughts and feelings I had so I reacted in that way but I felt a bit guilty afterwards 'cos it wasn't his fault but I thought "You need to have your own personality and if that action made u feel angry then it's ok to express it" however it wasn't only the fact that everyone laughed because he took the picture, I was also feeling out of place and a bit angry so I thought that maybe I had been a bit harsh on my brother and I knew he would be mad at me but to my surprise after a few hours he was joking with me again and to be honest I felt a relief 'cos I didn't mean to be so rude and well this made me think about my brother's reaction towards anger 'cos today I noticed that my mum got mad at him and well after a few hours he was joking with her again.

I feel really happy about finding out this because from now on I'm gonna try to be like that 'cos it's healthier... in the end anger is just a feeling and like we all know life isn't always pink so of course we'll have little fights or angry moments with the people that surround us since it's something natural but we should never think that just because of an angry moment we're gonna stop talking to someone or we're gonna lose him/her -in some cases it can be like that but it would be 'cos the other person decides it -.

Wishin' and hopin'

I haven't been able to update my blog during the last weeks because I had been really busy with school and some mixed up changes in my life.

I must admit that since I met my gay friend things have been easier for me in some aspects because well at least I can have fun with him and his friends and at the same time I'm learning more about myslf and the "gay side" I hadn't been able to develop before and that's great 'cos it's part of my personality (lol I'm not talkign about turning into a woman haha). In the beginning I wasn't 100% sure about hanging out with them 'cos some of them are like really girly fom time to time and I'm not like that but after thinking it oer I realised I shouldn't be so strict with myself because I can still have fun with them even if we're no 100% the same so I'm gad I refelcted about it. Of course I've been visitnig some gay bars and well I'm still a bit shy when it comes to flirting but I'm not ashamed or worried about it, I'm sure it'll happen when the time is right and I'm glad I kn this way because even if I'm not 100% aware of it I knwo that this changes in my life are or better and they will help me to deelop myself as a man.

On the other hand school has also been keeping me a bit pressured and well thankfully I have been handlig this in the right way mainly because of my friends´ advices 'cos we always do homework together and stuff like that so it's a bit easier but well my gay life and school are not the only things that have ben keeping me busy, stressed or sad.. right now I'm having a 2 weeks break from school so I've returned to my real home and well I've been facing some uncomfortable feelings, feelings that used to bother me back when I was in High School, I forget them when I'm at Uni 'cos over there I can be myself however everytime I come back home I can't help remembering them. I like being the way I am and I don't care about what other people think but sometimes I just can't explain to myself why am I so different to any regular guy who's my age, why don't I feel interested in driving or why do I like artists that no-one else over here cares about.. so that's why rigt now I'm just wishin' and hopin' to find an answer.

Some Uni friends and me having breakfast during our lunch time, we worked as staff for this worlwide Architecture congress called Arquine.

A night out with some mates, it happened last Thursday lol I was really really excited 'cos the DJ played a remix of "Spice Up Your Life" as well as "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'" by the Scissor Sisters.

True friendship

During this week I've been feeling a lot of pressure because of Uni, I think it's one of the most hectic weeks I've had since I started to study Architecture and well as a consequence of that I've been feeling a bit down/stressed/angry and well yesterday we had a class with a terrible teacher who seems to be really calmed down and nice but well in reality she's a b*** lol normally I'm not like that when it comes to teachers but it's the first time I feel so mad about a teacher's attitude.



The thing is that each and every class she asks for a certain work to be done and in the end she tells you your projects needs to be changed in this and that way and every time you ask her for a "green light" so that you can handle it in she makes a correction .... !! anyway, yesterday we had this special day at the Uni to celebrate the Uni's day :P so no-one was supposedto have classes however Achitecture's Principal decided we should have classes so we did have classes and the class of this teacher was the last one so we asked to let us go out instead of having the class and she was just like "Ok, but you'll have more work for the next class, just handle in your homeworks.... if you didn't finish them you can do that right now" (it all sounded perfect!) however we had to work 3 hours (the actaul time of the class) on our homework 'cos she carried on aksing us for more and more details :S I was really angry lol I even felt like breaking my plastic pen but I decided I would just focus on working so that I could leave "early".



I was really focused on my work and suddenly my roommate (the one I used to fancy and who also studies Architecture) hit my back 'cos he made a joke bus I was so angry/pressured/stressed that I automatically turned around and removed his hand of my body so hard that it bounced on the table that was on my back ... of course I didn't do it with a bad intention, I didn't even felt like doing it but my brain reacted in that way 'cos I was really focused, my roommate didn't tell me anything, he just told another friend "What's wrong with him?". As soon as he finished his job he left the classroom and well by tha time I was less stressed 'cos I was about to finish as well so I started to think abou what happened, I felt awful so when I was on my way home with a friend I told him "I think I've got mental problems, I really didn't feel like doing that to my roommate, it happened automatically... I think I won't be able to talk with him to say sorry 'cos I feel really ashamed" and my friend was just like "Don't worry, I'm sure he didn't take it personal" however I couldn't help feeling extremely guilty and ashamed because it was the first time I did that to a friend.


A couple of hours later after I had dinner I decided I had to go to his bedroom so that I could talk with him, I stayed frozen infront of his door like for 5 minutes 'cos I felt I wouldn't be able to look into his eyes and say sorry but well I decided I should just knock without thinking about the way I was feeling and as soon as I knocked and said "It's me" he was just like "What's up, come on in" so I entered his bedroom and started to say how ashamed and sorry I felt and he said "Don't worry about that honestly, I know you well and I know that u reacted in that way 'cos were stressed, you're not like that so if you made that is because you were focused, I don't even feel bad or anything I totally understand it" however I carried on expressing my repentance and he started to laugh and said "You know, you make me laugh 'cos you carry one feeling sorry even though I have told you you don't have anythign to worry about" lol after 20 minutes of talking about it I felt ok and we carried on talking as if nothing had happened. This made me feel really happy and lucky about having him as a friend and roommate because he showed me how true our friendship is and I think it'sthe first time it happens to me with a "real" friend and it feels nice, when I left his bedroom I thanked him for everything and he was just like "You don't have to say thank you". I was feeling really happy and amazed, honestly, it's great knowing that someone cares about you; of course I know I couldn't tell him I'm gay 'os he's really narrow-minded and he is totally straight but well at this point I don't think that the fact that he doesn't knwo i'm gay is somehitng that can make me feel uncomfortable 'cos it doens't matter when it comes to our relationship.

Here's a pic of me with him, he's the guy with the wite cap.

Good times

As most of you might know by now my life has been experiencing some small changes that have made me shift in a good way, right now I think that besides making a dream come true by meeting VB and seeing the Spice Girls live the fact that I have met another gay guy who seems to like me (as a friend) has made me see life from a different point of view; I mean it's not as if my whole world had changed but at least now I feel more comfortable 'cos I have experienced a world in which I'm allowed to be myself without being criticized and well the funny thing about this is that because of the way I had lived until I met Gil (my gay friend) sometimes I'm "ashamed" of doing certain things I feel like doing when I'm with him 'cos I have that social mark that makes me think I'm being girly or gay, however I'm working on that because I think it's time for me to start living my life lol I know his might sound a bit "optimist" but I really think a good change is coming and I love that feeling, in fact I think it's something I took for granted since when I reflected about my grand mother's death a couple f days ago... so let's just wait and see what happens!

A great escape for me whenever I feel a bit outta place or uncomfortable while I'm at Uni orwith my mates has been my iPod.. yeah I sing along and dance around while I listen to some of my favourite tunes, I must admit it's a great medicine.