Once again..

School has been keeping me busy, I had to record 5 television comercials for Creativity class... at first I thought it would be really stressful since the guys that the teacher picked up as my team are all "machos" and a bit lazy + when I complained with her she was just like "I want you to control them so that you get good results" but to my surprise we all worked as a team and we didn't have any problems.

Yesterday I recorded an interview for Sociology class, it went good as well 'cos we were able to choose our team mates so I picked up 2 female friends of mine, the only bad thing about it was that after we recorded it we hanged out with 2 male friends of one one my friends and well they called me girl just because I don't speak with bad words nor smoke like them.. I know I shouldn't care and I don't but it's just that with school stress it's not easy to ignore guys like them for me.

Next week my exams will start so I'll be even more busy but well I can't avoid this... I just hope it ends soon!

"Boy if you want to be my speciality you'll have to wait for me" lala

So on friday I went out on my first date ever and well to be honest I don't know if I can say it was good or bad, one thing I know is that I couldn't have him as my boyfriend because his personality is a bit out of what I look for in man but still he's a nice guy. I felt a bit silly when he told me he doesn't know Girls Aloud, he only searched for them on Wikipedia when I asked him on MSN if he knew them and well that's not good but at a certain point I think it's nice 'cos he was trying to "impress" me (he failed though), while we were talking in his car he also told me that the guy that was phoning him constanly was his ex bf and according to him he is a porn star :S of this gay web called papi.com but I think he was trying to impress me once again (It's not good to lie that much in my opinion).

When he talks he also uses like loads of bad words so I asked him not to say them while we talked and it was funny to see him avoiding bad words hehe sometimes he would ask me "Do u consider ... as a bad word?" before he spoke :P, he also made me laugh from time to time 'cos I told him I found it a bit hard to read non-digital clocks so he would make fun of that and I liked it (I like funny guys).
Something I didn't like about him is that sometimes he would act like in a really girly way whenever he heard a song that he likes or when he was impressed by something + he's also one of the typical gay guys who talks bad about people who are "ugly" or that wear different clothes and well I know a lot of people do it but I just hate it when someone (In this case him) feels "superior" to other people just because they wear better clothes or have a different social level, and talking about social levels another thing that kinda bugged me about him is the fact that he would always make comparisons about me and him 'cos I go to a private school and he goeas to a public one and stuff like that, he would aslo say "I know you're ashamed of being with me" whenever someone saw us and as I told him I wasn't ashamed but he carried on saying that kinda things.
I don't think I'll ask him out in the future and well if he asks me out I'll think about it, after a lot of "cunfusion" on my mind I've decided that he's a nice guy and he could be a nice friend but I'm almost sure I couldn't be his bf, I'm glad I had this experience because it made me realize I can't rush thing or date 100 guys to find what I'm looking for, 'cos life is something that happens day by day so the guy that I'm looking for will show up when he has to. In the meantime I just have to be patient and live my life the way I wanna live it without thinking "How would it be if..." 'cos even though it's always very useful to plan your future you also have to live in the present so that you can learn the most from it for the future.

I don't complain about it, in fact I feel a bit happy 'cos he's a really nice guy and we could be good friends but I'll let it all to time.

Spicing up my life

Even though my PC broke down (again..) some days ago it's already fixed now and the good news are that I didn't lose anything of my media so I'm happy and now you know why did I stop posting in here for some days.

I'm also happy 'cos I met a nice guy last week and we're going out tomorrow so well it's gonna be my first time and I really hope it goes the right way.. I never thought things in my life would start to change so soon but well I guess that's the way life goes and I'm happy to learn this new lesson.. of course I also know things can go the bad way all of a sudden but well it'll another lesson.. I'm just being patient.

Sometimes I think I look like the guy in that pic... I just seem to be analyzing life while others just "let it flow" but I don't think it's bad 'cos u can always learn something useful.

It's all done!

As I posted some days ago I was planning top tell my parents that I'm gay and well... it's done now.

I'm happy about this 'cos things were not bad, my parents said they still love me no matter what. The only thing I don't really like is that my dad thinks I'm still confused "'Cos I'm still starting to turn into a teenager" :S :S but well at a certain point I understand him 'cos maybe it's not easy for him to understand it and thinks I might change but well as I told him I know who I am. My mum also told me that I should never change and that I shouldn't feel depressed (I told 'em about all my depression problems) but well that is just a bit impossible 'cos even though they know it now I know that my life will still be pretty much the same but anyway it's a step that would be given anytime and I'm glad I've done it.

My parents also told me that I shouldn't feel bad 'cos I'm not like the other guys, they also metioned that they know I'm quite smart and that I will achieve great things, dad compared me with my brother and said that he only focuses on shallow things and it might be true but that made me feel a bit bad for him because even though we don't have the best relaationship ever I accept him as he is and I don't think my dad should compare us just to make me feel better, anyway I feel better now and not because of the words of my dad, I feel better cos this was something really important for ´me and I feel proud of who I am, I'm not ashamed of being the guy I am, and I strongly believe that we can always make our life a bit better no matter how difficult it seems to be.

3 of them are like me :P (UK boyband "V")

A huge step for me...

Last night I came out to my sister, I told her 'cos I though I just needed to do it, the bf of one of my female friends who lives in Canada told me I should really tell her 'cos he knows me and he knows how much I'm suffering and well I just felt it was the time to tell her so I went to her bedroom and when I started to tell her about it she told me that she already knew about it 'cos some months ago she read it on a windown I had left openend b4 she used the PC (I suppose it was my blog but it's weird 'cos I'm relly careful about it, I always make sure the history is cleared and I always leave "normal" windows opened) , she told me it was better for her to know that way 'cos during the last months she had been thinking about it since it's too difficult for her to understand it.

She asked me to understand her and she also said her mind had changed (for good) now that I had told her, she offered me her suppport and well I told her about some of my problems and she told me she'd help me.I think that today I'm gonna tell my parents, she told me that she could be there if I wanted to clam them down but I think I have to say it on my own, I also think it's better to tell ym parents about it now because in a couple of months I'll move to Mexico city for Uni so it would be a bit weird for them if I tell them after I have moved (Well, I need to find a flat first :P) because they can get to think about it in a bad way so it's good that they know about me now that I live here so that they can see I carry on with my life even if it's difficult.

So I'm a bit nervous about telling my parents but I really wanna do it, I've been waiting for this moment for a long time now and honestly I never thought it would happen so fats but it's ok with me, I think all my depressions and bad experiences gave me the courage I need to carry on living like this and most importantly to accept me and love me the way I am.

This is a drawing I made last Friday while I was bored, I really like it and I feel proud about it 'cos I wasn't scared or ashamed of being on my own drawing it while everyone else was having fun with their "friends".

A little review of my weekend off

I spent last weekend at the house of one of my uncles at Valle de Bravo (Valley of Bravo :P) . I really didn't want to go but it was my only choice so I had to go, after all I think I had a nice time there; my sister invited one of her friends from her football soccer classes and it was nice knowing her 'cos she's not like all the guys that we know at school so I was qite happy to know someone that's not shallow or 2-faced.

I was quite surprised when I started to do some "crafts" with little beads, my sister was doing it with her friend so I thought I would also do it so that I didn't get annoyed of doing nothing, I was surpised 'cos as a kid I used to love them but I gave up as soon as I started to grow up, anyway it was quite nice to see I still have some talent at it haha, here are some pics of my creations: