A change is always good

Yesterday I hanged out with some Highschool friends that I hadn't seen for a couple of months now, since our graduation party, and well I have to say I had a good laugh. One of them, Jorge, used be one of my closest "friends" alongside another guy called Raúl.

I had been Raúl's friend since 6th grade of Primary School, almost 8 years ago, and well he had always been a bit hard on me since we were kids 'cos if I didn't do what he wanted me to do he'd get mad and say "I hate you, don't talk to me" and well had always been a bit shy and weak so I'd always feel worried if he said that to me 'cos I felt as if my whole world was tumbing down 'cos even tough I had a nice relationsip with most most of my classmates I wouldn't be strong enough to be with them during the recess so if Raúl got mad at me I'd always try to fix things 'cos I wouldn't like to be alone, itwas awful 'cos I would find it hard to get some sleep since I knew he was mad at me, as we started to grow up I started to realie it was really unfair and I also dicovered that Raúl had a relly low self esteem so he'd always feel insecue about his look and stuff like that however when we were in Junior Highschool I was still really naive so I'd still do anythying so that he didn't get mad at me and well things got a bit worse at that time 'cos I started todiscover my homosexuality so I kinda had a rough time at Junior Highschool. When we started Highschool I started to develop my personality a bit more and well I had already decided that I would start to have my own decicions even if Raúl didn' agree with me and when he realised it he kinda accepted it however he'd still want me to agree with him all the time but I wouldn't care if he got mad at me 'cos I knew I was a better person that him and I had to deal with my sexuality so that helped me to be more independent and secure about myself.

During the last year of Highschool I really didn't care about Raúl's friendship however he discovered I was one of his few, or maybe his only, tru friend so he started to be a bit more gentle however he had a lot of fake friendships, by the time Highschool ended we agreed we'd both sill see achother form time to time even if lived in Mexico city (To be honest I wasn't interested at all) and well we started to go to Uni and we didn't kepp in touch that much. I called him on his b-day and he said "I was already getting mad at you for not doing it". We saw eachother once during the semestr and I knew he had problems with his fake friends and with Jorge but we never talked about it. Yetsreday I hanged out with Jorge and 2 of Raúls' fake friends, I wasn't even prepared for going out lol when they arrived I wast still in the shower haha, and today Italked with Raúl on MSN and he asked me if I was out with them yesterday and when I said "yes" he replied "Perfect, you have time to hang out wth them but not with me" and immediately blocked me from his contacts list and just sent him a message saying "You don't have a reason to be mad" and that's it bu what I wanna say with this long, and maybe boring, post is that I'm glad I'm differen now, I'm glad I've changed 'cos if that had happenedsome years ago I'd feel worried and sad but today I can say that I don't care about it 'cos I don't depend on him to be happy or to be myself and I think this is soemting that my sexuality issues have taught me 'cos 'e discovered I'm a good person and I don't deserve anyonoe's bad words.. yeah being gay can be a bit of a headache from time to time bt it has certainly taught me great things about my life.

I decided to post a pic of Mika today, 'cos well he's Lebanese just like my mum's family and I think his lyrics have given me a positive view of life + his I love his look