"Family"

During the last days I've been having some kinda troubles with my family, it all started on Saturday morning when we were getting ready for a religious ceremony of a cousin, I decided to wear a nice shirt, a pair of jeans (Not casual looking jeans) and shoes, and this was the "huge" mistake I made.. when I was fixing my hair my brother saw me and asked me "Are u going to wear jeans?" in a surprise wayand I replied "Yes" confidently. When I finished styling my hair I went to my sister's bedroom and when she saw me she asked me the same damn thing, while I was in my sister's bedroom my brother was telling my parents about this "emergency" and soonn my dad called my name in a loud tone but I didn't reply nor went to his bedroom (He wanted to tell me to change the jeans) however when I came out of my sister's bedroom my mother saw me and asked me again if I was going to wear jeans (She tried to act natural as if I didn't knew my brother had told her about it) and I got really mad and replied "Damn why is everyone asking me the same, yes I'm going to wear jeans" , after a few moments I was in my bedroom and my sister and my mum started to talk about it and I just shouted "Yes, even if youwhisper about it I'll still wear jeans" and they didn't reply.

This made me feel awful, I just wanted to burst into tears because for the first time in my life I was being rejected by my family and it wasn't a nice experience 'cos I just started to think about how obvious this was.. I'm gay, I'm not a "normal" guy and I have a determined personality.. of course they can't accept someone like me but well thankfully I was able to control my sadness/anger and didn't cry.

To make things a bit worse next day I realised how crappy the realiton between my brother and me is 'cos he wanted to see Harry Potter's latest film and well he aksed my sister to accompany him but she said no 'cos she needed to study... he knew I didn't have to study and he wasn't bothered to ask me to accompany him :( this was a bit sad too but well I just didn't let it surprise me since I have always known my borther dislikes me for loads of reasons and I have to admit that I dislike him too but at least my reasons are worth it and I have been able to verify that each time I talk wth my sister or my parents about my brother's spoilt life/attitude (My parents accept it but carry on supporting it) and I also vefiried it yesterday when I went with my grandmother and him to a shoping centre, she wanted to buy him a b-day present and while he was in the fitting rooms she told me a lot of things about him that are true (spoilt, doesn't appreciate my dad's efforts ..)

So as you can see it hasn't been a good life for me lately but I'm happy 'cos I've been able to get over this on my own and I have to admit it just feels great to realise you're on the right track.

"Super brothers".. almost 5 years ago