The case is closed

This weekend has been quite harsh for me.. on saturday morning I started to feel more depressed and angry about my situation so my family started to notice there was something wrong, my mum asked me what was wrong with me and I told her everything's was ok but of course my attiude wasn't a good one however she didn't insist, after that I spent all morning working on my school tasks and when it was time for us to have lunch I dunno I was feeling terrible so I just sat on the table and ate as fast as I could; when I finished and was about to leave my dad said in a rude tone "Why don't u stay with us ?" and I replied "Why u protest to me?" and he started to tell me I had been acting quite weird and that at least I should "be" with them for more time.. I didn't reply anything and I waited until my sister was done with her meal, after that I stood up.

When I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth my sister entred and asked me what was wrong with me (she clearly knows it's something related to my situation) and I just told her that all the school tasks were making me feel like this and of course she didn't believe me and carried on asking me about it but I replied the same. After some min she started to cry but I decided to act as if nothing was happening 'cos I was feeling really uncomfortable, at a certain time I thought I'd faint 'cos I was feeling really dizzy but thankfully nothing happened and as soon as I finished cleaning my teeth I left the bathroom.

After that I went to the kitchen and my mum asked me again what was wrong... I told her it was school as well and she believed me or at least pretended to believe me but after that I started to calm down and just started to focus in the school project I was about to start.

This attitude might seem to be a bit rude but the thing is that I can't stand my family's attitude.. when I came out to my parents a few weeks ago they promised they'd search for a psychologist and what happened? they did nothing about it! and that's just 'cos they can't accept the fact that I'm gay and they just pretend nothing happened. With my sister is different, she knows me well and she knows I was feeling that way 'cos of my problems but I just didn't feel like telling her 'cos I feel uncomfortable whenever I have to talk about something personal with her and I remembered "Whenever she's mad she's also rude with us so I can do the same.... after all I'm also working in changing my personality so that people don't take advantage on me".

I think these days have been really hard for me and yeah "life changes" but I'm just tired of being patient. I think the best solution is to let it slip away from me.