Feels like I'm suspended

After all these hectic days (which won't end soon) and after dealing with all my "team" mates I think that right now I'm feeling a bit "relaxed" 'cos well I've just realised there's nothing I can do to change this I mean they won't ever work and I'll always be the only one worried about it so there's nothing I can do.. of course it's not fair but I dunno right now I have a lof of faith in Uni (which will start in about 2 months) 'cos I expect everyone there to be different, maybe it won't be a dramatical change but as long as it changes I'll be good.

Right now I'm just working and working and working and I dunno it feels just as if I had made up my mind about it so I don't feel like complaining anymore, as long as I can get the job done. I fear this is something a bit weird 'cos it means I'm only working without thinking about anything else and without "enjoying" life but I dunno why am I going on through this.

In other news today we had a discussion about homosexuality during Psychology class and I gotta admit it was a bit horrible for me 'cos everyone, including the teacher, talked about it as if it was something from another planet I mean they just said like loads of sensless things about it like "If a man has no brothers he's gay" and stuff like that and as usually they also joked about it so it was a bit hard for me 'cos I felt like a weird bug in a shoes box + this guy I used to fancy and who knows I'm gay was sitting on my back so I couldn't stop thinking about what was going on in his mind now that he knows I'm gay, at a certain time I felt like crying and going out of the classroom 'cos of all the things I heard but I just decided to keep it deep inside 'cos it wouldn't have been good.