They're back !!

Atomic Kitten have decided to release a new single (out next monday) as part of The Number One Project (The 3 members are from Liverpool and Liverpool is the city that has had more artists who achieved number 1 singles in the world so they're celebrating it with this project but it also coincides with Liverpool achieving the title of City of the Culture in 2008) however they did bother in filming a great video, it's really nice to have an AK video after all these years, and they visited GMTV studios to have a little chat and perform the new single "Anyone Who Had A Heart". Jenny was feeling a bit sick so she didnt´t look good while they performed but it's a nice performance, I must admit I love Natasha's moves.

I think they're a great band 'cos even though they called it a day in 2004 they promised to carry on as band in the future and they have done it for real, back in 2005 they re-released their number 1 hit "Cradle" as a charity single and they also released "All Together Now" back in 2006 as part of the official Football World Cup's soundtrack alongside Goleo VI not forgetting the fact that they gave a concert in Asia on my 18th b-day (Dec 31st 2006) and well this year they're back with a new single.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=76UQ52LWtjU&feature=related

Here's the clip of the performance live at The Number One Project gig which took place on January 19th.

I'm feeling all mixed up

This week was a bit weird for me, on monday I was feeling ok, nothing special about it, however on Tuesday I started to feel really depressed because I noticed that this guy who lives in my house and studies Architecture, Oscar, was well was having fun with other guys and well even though I've made up my mind and I know he's not a potential bf I do feel something for him so I couldn't help feeling sad and jealous but in a good way, to make things even worse one of my new housemates said that I was annoying because of my happiness he said "You're just like a character from Disney's Enchanted movie" and well yeah I know I have a happy personality and I also know some people might find it annoying but I just felt like trash so that day after we had dinner I just decided to go take a shower and go to sleep immediately, I didn't feel like chattin' with all of my housemates 'cos I was feeling miserable, so I went downstairs and started to brush my teeth while I was litening to some sad songs on my iPod, I couldn't help crying 'cos I felt as if I wasn't a human, I even looked at my wrist and imagined this whole shitty suicide panorama. After some minutes I realised Oscar was outise of my bathroom so when I saw him I just pretended nothign was happening and he didn't realise I had been crying and well he was there to tell me about a girl who fancies him and well he said I looked stranged and asked me if everything was ok and I sad "Yes" , I htuoght about talkign with him but this time I decided it would be a better idea to shut up because he's always saying I play the "victim" role.This carried on all the way through Thursday and well that day I helpd a friend whose parents have decided to split up, he felt comfortable talkign about it with me, he even cried and I was glad I could help him so that mde me feel better 'cos I felt happy about helping him.

So it wasn't a nice week at all however I did learn very useful things for life yesterday when I was talking with my dad and my sister, they picked me up, and I'm proud of that 'cos they taught me education always has a limit, and sometimes we get to a poin where we prefer to avoid our opinion so that we don't seem to be rude but that's silly 'cos in the end our personality is always first.

This is me and the girl who fancies my friend, we're in her bedroom lol actually I "like" her 'cos she knows Atomic Kitten, Liberty X, Sugababes, Girls Aloud.. since she studied in Ireland some time ago.

He's another housemate, he's a bit funny and sometimes I suspect he's gay 'cos of his persnality but he has mentioned an ex gf however he likes S Club haha

WOW

First of all I wanna say sorry for my lack of updates this week, I returned to college and well I had a nice comeback, it was nice to see my friends again as well as meeting 2 new house mates and I can't coplain about the teachers I chose so I'm quite happy, I'm liking it a bit more.

Anyway yesterday (Friday) I returned to my home as I do almost every weekend while I study in Mexico, almost everyone at home was feeling in a nice mood 'co my brother would go to Detroit for 1 week as part of of a school trip, which cnsited in visiting different car factories as well as going to a Car's show/expo. which is on of the most important ones in the world, my brother loves cars just as much as I love music, and well he was really excited about it.

After we had lunch my dad said we'd go out 'cos my brother wanted to search for a suit sice we have a cousin's wedding soon so we went out and after we visited a store my dad told me we'd go to an electronics store wich is also a huge stationary so I wentwith him andmy brother and my sister stayed in the car, when I was there I asked him why were there and he tld me he was going to buy a new laptop for my brother (:S), i felt a bit surprised 'cos well he had just paid my brother's trip to Detroit + he was going to give him money to spend there but I didn't say anything 'cos in the end it's not my money and well I already know how selfish my brother is, anyway after some minutes I got desperate and asked my dad if I could give him a notebook and a pen I wanted to buy so that he could pay them as soon as he paid the laptop and I went to the car with my sister.

When I started to tell her about the laptop she got really mad and she started to explain me a lot of little things that made her feel so mad about it because of my dad's attitude towards her whenever she asks him for something (even ifit's a stupid chocolate, my dad compains about going to a supermarket so that she can buy one!) and well my brother told him he wanted to get the laptop before his trip and my dad said yes and decided to buy it... my sister was really mad, her voice sounded really angry and she had tears in her eyes and of course in that moment I felt really sorry for her (I'm teary now indeed) because I understand her but of course there's not a lot of thing that I can do so I just told her that she sould talk with my parents about it and well I said phrase that my dad taught me a few years ago when I lost a good "friend" (my first gay crush) "Everything falls down because of it´s own weight" and I said this because well my brother normally has a rude attitude towards my dad because of his personaity and his way of driving and yesterday he was acting as if that didn't bother to him and well aso 'cos he had been a bit stubborn about getting a new laptop (he's a material person).

While we were on our way home I couldn't help letting a few tears out 'cos I was feelingsad for my sister and also for my dad because I know he lovesmy brother and it seems as if my brother only cared about money and I also felt bit sorry for the sik personality my brother has and well when we got home my brother started to pack his luggage so time passed by a bit quickly, he asked me to lend him one of my hats because the temperature in Dteroit would be of -14ºC , we a laugh while he was trying my hats (I couldn't show my anger towards him 'cos I was also feling sorry) . After he packed his luggage he remembered to take out his Passport and his Visa and when he did it he realised that his Passport was expired..... I was with him in that moment and I didn't know what to say, I thought he'd hit me or something but he didn't he just said "Why didn't I check this before".. he was gutted and well he told my parents who din't know what to say or do, I suggestted my dad to cancel the airplane tckets so that he could go later but well I don't know what they decided to do, my sister said "You're the only one who thinks in this family 'cos my parets don't say anything about it" but well it's not my parents fault either.

Anyway this was really shocking because when I told my sister that he wouldn't go becauseo his expired password we remembered what had tsaid earlier about things falling down because of their own weight however we din't have that much time to react about this because my mum told us that my dad's mum (our grandmother) was really ill, she's 91 year old and well she's having breathing problems, my mum also said my dad cried (I have never ever seen him crying) and well I'm not being pessimist but I'm almost sure that she'll die soon so well as u guys can see I had quite a terrible Friday evening/night... I haveto admit I learnt a lot of things about life and I'm sure this will be smething I'll keep in mind anytime someone tells me I worry about some important things 'cos if I wasn't like that I'd have the same experience my brother has just had.

LOL at my slowness

Yesterday I was at a store with my sister and we were in the fashion/teens magazines section, lol every time we're there I try to camouflage myself among the rock magazines so that my parents don't see me browsing fashion magazines and well my sister showed me a "Teen Vogue" issue about prom dresses 'cos her graduation party will be next summer so we were trying to find nice dresses and suddenly while we were luaghing I saw a really handsome man grabbing a issue of a magazine I was browsing so immediately thought "He only recahed it for his gf or his daughter" and well I just couldn't stop staring at him as he got the magazine, to my surprise when I turned around he was actually browsing the magazine!! and he was just like 3 steps off me lol I felt really nervous and when he looked at me I just turned around as if I was trying to look for someone.

When my sister finished browsing that magazine we walked a little bit 'cos she wanted to show me a bracelet or something like that haha I couldn't pay attention to her 'cos I was still staring at that man so I could notice that as soon as we walked a little bit he walked a little bit too so that he could be near to us, he went to the Sports magazines section and while I was with my sister I would look at him and when I turned around I noticed he was looking at me too, so that's when I realised he was a bit interested in me, unfortunately after that my sister wanted to show me something else so we walked a bit more and this time he waked to the place where we had just been so we carried on exchanging glances until we got coser, lol my sister wanted us to see another bracelet again, and gosh I felt really excited, this time we looked at echother's eyes and it felt nice however I wasn't able to say someting 'cos I felt ashamed and also 'cos my sister was there so he started to act as if he was a bit desperate and unfortunately my sister showed me something so I had to stp focusing on him.... when I least expected it he was walking out o the store.

I have to admit this was really nice 'cos honesly he looked really really goregous and well I was also surprised 'cos he wa sinterested in me but well it was te first time something like this happened to me so I couldn't handle it.

LOL yeah, felt as if I was in Mika's surreal world but it didn't last that much, however it made me feel happy.

Time for some new pics

Taken on Wednesday when I went to a coffee to make my schedule and to catch up with some Highschool friends.

She's the only oe that knows I'm gay, lol I look a bit tired hehe almst like a zombie 'cos I've been having sme late nights.

A change is always good

Yesterday I hanged out with some Highschool friends that I hadn't seen for a couple of months now, since our graduation party, and well I have to say I had a good laugh. One of them, Jorge, used be one of my closest "friends" alongside another guy called Raúl.

I had been Raúl's friend since 6th grade of Primary School, almost 8 years ago, and well he had always been a bit hard on me since we were kids 'cos if I didn't do what he wanted me to do he'd get mad and say "I hate you, don't talk to me" and well had always been a bit shy and weak so I'd always feel worried if he said that to me 'cos I felt as if my whole world was tumbing down 'cos even tough I had a nice relationsip with most most of my classmates I wouldn't be strong enough to be with them during the recess so if Raúl got mad at me I'd always try to fix things 'cos I wouldn't like to be alone, itwas awful 'cos I would find it hard to get some sleep since I knew he was mad at me, as we started to grow up I started to realie it was really unfair and I also dicovered that Raúl had a relly low self esteem so he'd always feel insecue about his look and stuff like that however when we were in Junior Highschool I was still really naive so I'd still do anythying so that he didn't get mad at me and well things got a bit worse at that time 'cos I started todiscover my homosexuality so I kinda had a rough time at Junior Highschool. When we started Highschool I started to develop my personality a bit more and well I had already decided that I would start to have my own decicions even if Raúl didn' agree with me and when he realised it he kinda accepted it however he'd still want me to agree with him all the time but I wouldn't care if he got mad at me 'cos I knew I was a better person that him and I had to deal with my sexuality so that helped me to be more independent and secure about myself.

During the last year of Highschool I really didn't care about Raúl's friendship however he discovered I was one of his few, or maybe his only, tru friend so he started to be a bit more gentle however he had a lot of fake friendships, by the time Highschool ended we agreed we'd both sill see achother form time to time even if lived in Mexico city (To be honest I wasn't interested at all) and well we started to go to Uni and we didn't kepp in touch that much. I called him on his b-day and he said "I was already getting mad at you for not doing it". We saw eachother once during the semestr and I knew he had problems with his fake friends and with Jorge but we never talked about it. Yetsreday I hanged out with Jorge and 2 of Raúls' fake friends, I wasn't even prepared for going out lol when they arrived I wast still in the shower haha, and today Italked with Raúl on MSN and he asked me if I was out with them yesterday and when I said "yes" he replied "Perfect, you have time to hang out wth them but not with me" and immediately blocked me from his contacts list and just sent him a message saying "You don't have a reason to be mad" and that's it bu what I wanna say with this long, and maybe boring, post is that I'm glad I'm differen now, I'm glad I've changed 'cos if that had happenedsome years ago I'd feel worried and sad but today I can say that I don't care about it 'cos I don't depend on him to be happy or to be myself and I think this is soemting that my sexuality issues have taught me 'cos 'e discovered I'm a good person and I don't deserve anyonoe's bad words.. yeah being gay can be a bit of a headache from time to time bt it has certainly taught me great things about my life.

I decided to post a pic of Mika today, 'cos well he's Lebanese just like my mum's family and I think his lyrics have given me a positive view of life + his I love his look

Funny things in life

As I posted it yesterday today I met a friend at a coffee so that we could make our schedule for next semester, which ended up being a bit horrible by the way, and well we also catched up with other Highschool friends that now study in another University and to my surprise one of them, the only one that knows I'm gay, told me that one of her friends who hanged out with us some months ago is gay, of course I was a bit surprised but not that much because she had already told me that she suspected about his sexuality but anyway she told him that I'm gay too so , according to her, he said that he wants to meet me and tonigt I added him to my MSN conatcts list and I'm also going to add him to my Facebook friends; when I saw him I thought he's good looking and he's got a nice dressing style too however we didn't talk that much 'cos we were not next to eachother so hope I can get to know him better on MSN but it isn't all good 'cos this guy is also friend of one of the best friends of my sister so I'll have to be careful 'cos even though my sister knows I'm gay I wouldn't feel comfortable if she starts to know I'm looking for a bf :( .

I like it when I discover things like this

Today I phoned a friend just to make sure he doesn't forget we're meeting tomorrow so that we can make our schedule for the upcoming semester and I also told him I had incitd one of out High School friends so that we cou catch up and he siad it was ok and actually surprised me by telling me that later other firends would arrive too. I was happy to know that because well during this long time off school I had't seen ay friends of mine s I felt good.

I think having this feeling is nice for me because I don't "live" in the street with my friends (like my brother) so sometimes I feel a bit down ecause I don't go out that much however today after my firend asked me to stay for a bit longer tomorrow so that I cold catch up with the other guys I realised it's not that I'm sick or that I'm a phenomenon, I do have friends and I could be out with them 24/7 just like my brother but because of my personality and the situation I'm going thruogh I preer to send most of my time on my own so that I can find answers to my question, questions that I can't comment with my friends because they would freak out so well I felt happy after I could find out this.

To make things a bit better today I was also able to realise I shouldn't feel like a slave of my situation, this means that I shouldn't worry to much about school or about trying to be a good guy because yeah school is important but as long as I make my best effort I'll be ok and beisdes that school isn' the only ting that matters in my future because how do I pretend to move to another country I'm awlways feeling sad or blue.. life is about balancing all the parts of us as individuals.

Yeah, I won't ever get tired of posting pics of Will Young lol but it's just that I admire him in a lot of ways.

My birthday party

As most of you might know my birthday was on Dec 31st, however my parents decided it would be a better idea to make a party with both famillies on Dec 30th so that everyone that wasn't out for holidays could come.

I must say it was a nice party, well maybe the term family gathering would be better but I can't complain. To be honest it wasn't my idea to celebrate my birthday 'cos I'm not used to that, last year I had a family party as well but only 'cos it was my 18th birthday however since I was 9 or 10 I stopped having birthday parties. I think this year my parents wanted to make one for me because they're trying to help me feel a bit better now that they know about my situation and I appreciate it but in my opinion it's not somehtng that helps me.

As I posted it almost a year ago after my 18th birthday party last year I received some money, a wristwatch, Scissor Sistsers latest album and a Ferrari fragance, this year I only received money and I like it more because right now I'm saving all my money because I prefer to spend it on my trip to Chicago next February lol somehing funny about this is that all of my aunts/uncles used the same excuse to apologise about giving me money "I'm sorry I didn't have time to find something you would like but I think it's better if you buy whatever you want so here's some money for you".

This time we didn't have a proper time for taking pics however one of my uncles was able to take some while everybody was singing"Happy Birthday" to me, the bad thing about it is that he's really shy so he felt ashamed of telling my family to look at the camera hence I don't have good pics.

(Looking at all those candles on the cake made me feel a bit old haha)

(However my lungs are still young so I was able to blow them all)

(If only my dad had turned around I would've had a nice family pic :P)

(My sister and me with some cousins)

I'm enchanted !

LOL ok I don't have the best taste in movies but I can say I like movies that make me happy as well as movies that teach me something.


Yeserday I saw Disney's enchanted for the second time this week and I have to say it's a great movie, I like the fact that they mix their previous Princesses movies as well as the fact that they make it a real life fairytale movie. I guess in a certain way we can all identify oursselves with Giselle (the Princess) 'cos deep inside whenever we're in love we just want to be happy but well reality is far from that however this movie shows you can have both, a happy relationship and a real life, if you know how to take things; and of couse in order to achieve that a change is needed .

I can say I really like this movie, in my opinion Disney had being releasing some crappy and average films since 2001 or so whent they started with the whole Pixar thing so I'm really happy about this one 'cos it reminds me about all the Disney films I used to watch as a kid and it also covers a real life scenario not forgetting it's got a great cast including Susan Sarandon (I was thrilled with her perfromance) and Globen Globe nominee Amy Adams.

One of my new year's resolution...

Is to stop worrying so much about things 'cos it's something stupid (at a ceratin point) and life shouldn't be like that 'cos even if you worry you can't change anything so it's always better to wait until things happen and if you have a problem u should just think about how can u solve it instead of worrying about it. I know this byheart but somehow I always end up worrying too much so I'll do my best to change this.

Today I felt really stressed 'cos I didn't know how make my schedule for the next semester, we are given a date and time to make it but since it's only my 2nd semester at Uni I had no clue about how to create it on my online account and I felt really stressed, I even phoned Uni but they never answered so I felt even more stressed and actually I had nothing to stress about because I was talking with 2 mates and they didn't know either and they were calmed! but yeah I was feeling as if my life was about to end :S and in the end I just reviewed my online account again and I found the date and time to create my schedule!! so I had nothing to worry about.

That wasn't the only thing that made me realise I need to change, today I also called to a travel agency to check some details about my trip to Chicago to see the Spice Girls live and before I could sort it out I was feeling anxious and worried, and actually I had felt that way for some weeks now because I hadn't called he travel agency, I was just like "Oh maybe I won't go in the end so I have to make up my mind" lol as you can see I REALLY need to change, on a positive note I was really excited when I phoned the travel agency 'cos while I was waiting for the lady who was searching on their data base I was able to listen to the music they were listening to and they were listening to "Let Love Lead The Way" and as soon as it ended "Holler" (both Spice Girls song) was played so I presume they were playing Spice Girls' GH since that's the order they appear on the tracklist, I thik it was a great coincidence!

(The Spice Girls smiling for the camera just after they signed their airplane)

Hello.... again

2008 has just arrived, my birthday was yesterday (Dec 31st) and I'm 19 now.... I'm pretty excited about publishing a new entry in here 'cos it had been a looong time since I last did this, I kinda knew Uni would make it a bit difficult for me. It's not easy getting used to a new life, new home, new environment, new classmates (for the 1st time ever!!)

I would like to start this post by mentioning something I'm loving about my tangled up life style, the Spice Girls are my heroes... lol this might sound really stupid but i's not like that the thing is that 10 years ago when the Spic Girls were a strong act they used to make me feel extremely happy, I was a kid (my life seemed to be perfect) and I loved dancing around to their tunes with my sister and our best friend... as time passed by they split up, I started to grow up and I also started to discover the man I was turning into, yeah a gay guy zipped up in a narrow-minded society/environmet who started to feel awful when he realised how sad and pathetic can solitude be. Time passed me by and life just got worse for me, and it's still gettng worse however this year the Spice Girls decided to make a come back tour and all the happy memories of my childhood came back and well yeah I was on the moon when my parents allowed me to go to Chicago so that I can see them live but it's not about that, tis year I started to go to Uni and I thought my life would change in a lot of ways but unfortunately it didn't.

I moved to a students house where I had to sart growing up quickly so that loneliness coudldn't defeat me and of course I discovered one of the most important things in life, my family (in all the extension of the word) yeah I started to miss them a lot, during the week I cuoldn't wait for the weekend to come so that I could return to my home with them and well yeah I started to realise how have my family supported me during all this years of gay solitude, in which I haven't had real friends and all that suff so I just love them loads, sticking to the point the Spice Girls have been present in this trip, if it's not with the song "Mama" that makes me feel goosebupms every time I listen to it since I burned it on a cd for my mum just before I started Uni, it my dad dancing to "Who Do You Think You Are" accompanying every time I'm watching a Spice Girls dvd instead of being out "having fun" or getting drunk with my "friends" or the thought of gratefulness with my parents for allowing me to see the Spice Girls live no matter how gay can it be for the rest of the people and if it's not that it's the beautiful bond my best friend (my sister) and I have (we're almost like twins!) which can be apreciated anytime we do "Stop" choreography while we listen to the song, this is probablythe most special "Spice-aid" I can get since my sister is te only perosn who knows me 100% and accepts me that way.

So it's been quite a hectic time for me, and here ae some pics that should've been posted during all this time.

(The last "photo session" ever with some of my High School mates taken at my graduation party)

(This one's recent, it was taken about a month ago just before Ireturned to my real home for winter holidays, you can see me with 2of my house mates. I fancy the guy on the left.. it's a huge story, al I can ay is that we're great friends, we live i the same house and both of us study Architecture.. *comes back to reality* he's sraight)

(One of my most diffiuclt projects during the semester, lol a wooden sticks bridge that had to hold at least 20 kilos)

(My first night out as a Uni boy in Mexco city)

(One of the scale model projects I made with the guy I fancy -pictured some pics above-)